The Master of Cool

These days my kids, Ethan in particular, are all about "cool." Either something (or someone) is "cool," or it's not. And if it's not, look out. At 4, Ethan has deemed Curious George, Mickey Mouse and Calliou (see previous post), all programs he used to love, totally Uncool. Jonas's excitement when we find a Mickey Mouse episode is quickly squelched by Ethan's protests of "But I want to watch something cool!"

"Well what's cool?" I'll ask. "Is Berenstain Bears cool?"

"NO!"

I'll fly through the channels. He'll stop me only for one of three shows: SpongeBob Squarepants, Phineas and Ferb (which he insists is Fern no matter how many times I try to correct him because I'm the one who can read and spell), or Dora. That's right. My son thinks Dora the Explorer is cool.

Why would a four year old care about what is cool, anyway? I sometimes wonder if I had something to do with it. I mean, I do catch myself saying "Wow, that's really cool," to Ethan alot. But it doesn't mean anything. It's more like saying "That's interesting," when you don't really know what else to say.

I suspect, however, that more than mommy here, his friends are the cause of his obsession with cool. I know he thinks this kid Lyle is cool. Lyle is in Ethan's class at school. Lyle, I'm convinced, is a bad kid. I decided this after watching Lyle try to steal a popsicle from the freezer in his classroom the other day, a crime he would have committed had it not been for his father.

"It's not yours Lyle," his dad said. "Put it back."

I could see the admiration in Ethan's eyes at the time, as though he too would steal a popsicle right in front of his mom if only Lyle had gotten away with it.

A couple of mornings later, when dropping Ethan off at class, Lyle greeted us with, "Hey Ethan, you're sweeper today. Only bad kids are sweepers."

This confirmed it for me. Lyle was evil. On my way out of the classroom, I vaguely threatened the boy. "You be nice," I whispered in his ear. "I'm watching you."

I was halfway down the hall near the exit when I heard Lyle's voie. "You're not watching me now." I turned around. He was by the door to his classroom.

"I'm watching you now," I said, creeped out by this five-year-old's, how shall I put it...balls?

I turned around and kept walking.

"You're not watching me now," he said louder this time.

OK. He had a point. I didn't have eyes in the back of my head. I turned to look at him again. He was smirking. Then, to my relief, the teacher called him back into the room.

A few days later, when I came to pick up Ethan and asked how his day was, his teacher added something to her standard answer of "Great."

"Oh, he had a great day...but well, he did hurt his friend Joey, hit him in the tummy...I think they were playing and Joey got hurt but it was an accident. And Ethan hugged him and said sorry right after."

I thought this was odd, but no big deal. Joey is a nice kid, and Ethan's best friend (according to Ethan). I was sure it must have been an accident. I asked Ethan about it and he didn't say much. At least, not at first. Then, a couple of hours later, while giving him a bath, Ethan said, "You know why I hit Joey, mommy?"

"It was an accident, right?"

"No, because Lyle told me to."

Ethan was smirking. I immediately launched into a lecture about what a great kid Joey is and how he shouldn't follow kids like Lyle because Lyle might be a bad kid and it's not cool to be a follower.

When Ethan continued smiling, I wondered if maybe he was lying. Because I forgot to mention this, but lying is WAY COOL these days.

That very same afternoon of the hitting incident Ethan's teacher had asked me if Ethan had really gone to Africa when he was three to see the Pyramids. I shook my head. "He's never even been on an airplane," I said.

"Oh well, he's got quite an imagination then," she said.

Whether Ethan was lying about the Joey incident or not, I suddenly understood how my mother must have felt when at age 11, I broke off from my innocent childhood friends to join an evil suburban Jewish girl gang led by Kelly, who just happened to be an Irish Catholic chick who was really cool. My mother thought she was a bad influence, and tried to talk to me about it then too, the way I tried to talk to Ethan about Lyle. But whatever she said had no effect because right around that time, I had deemed my mother no longer cool. At least with Ethan at age 4, maybe I still had a chance to make a difference. Maybe I still had a chance to open his mind, and teach him not to judge. To teach him that everyone was cool, in his or her own way.

Yet, like so many things we try to teach our kids, change comes slowly. For now, the cool factor continues to weigh heavy in our world. The other morning, Ethan told Jonas that his Batman pajamas shirt wasn't cool. It was a crushing blow to his little bro.

"Yes it is Ethan...Take it back. Say sorry!" Jonas lashed back.

"But it's not cool," Ethan said again.

"Mommy, daddy," Jonas said nearly in tears, "Ethan said my batman shirt isn't cool."

"Of course it's cool," I said. "Don't listen to him." I looked at Ethan and shook my head. "Ethan's not the master of cool, anyway. Daddy is. And daddy wears that Batman shirt we got him for Father's Day!"

This made Jonas smile.

"Ethan you are not the master of cool...,"Jonas repeated. "And I smelled your breath and it's stinky!"

I stifled a laugh and the little cheer I wanted to do for Jonas while thinking: now that is one cool kid.

Making a Case for the C-Word

How do you feel about Calliou? Read my piece on ErrantParent.com: Making a Case for the C-Word

A Yankee takes on a huge Southern problem

I want to talk about the elephant in the room



Recently the CDC released its annual report of states’ obesity rates. Did you know that the Southern states were amongst the highest in obesity rates? I did not pay attention to these statistics at all up north. But when I read this, my mind wandered to the fair I went to recently down here.



I know this is a delicate issue and by no means want to upset my southern brothers and sisters. This blog is written for those that can, but don't. I understand any underlying medical problems related to weight gain.I thought I needed to at least share my take on staying fit and trim for those that may be interested.

Why?



Well, heck everybody and their brother has a diet book out so why not this Yankee? You may ask, "What does that skinny Yankee know?" ... There you have it :-)

For starters you need to know that I am 6 feet tall and weigh 168 pounds. Some call me skinny. Actually, I have a beef with people who come up to me and say-“you alright?” or “you feeling ok, you losing weight?” or the granddaddy of them all “Hey, you need to have me take you home and feed you, your too skinny”

Now just step back for a moment and picture this. I go up to someone who is overweight and say to them “Hey, you look extremely overweight their sparky, let me take you home and monitor your food intake"



I don't think so.

According to Newsday, 28 U.S. States reported obesity rates between 25-29% in adults ages 18 and older, and three states: Alabama, Tennessee, and Mississippi, reported rates of over 30%. In fact, Mississippi is the reigning champ of obesity, being the most obese state for three years running! In Mississippi, one in every three residents is obese.

I had often thought to myself that living down south can expand your life by a few more years with the slower pace and all and the less stressful approach to things like driving. Remember this here?

But I am slowly changing my mind. My wife recently reminded me to look and take note the next time I am in the big city up north and watch the people go by........



.......Running to catch a cab, the subway or just walking.

Most city folk are not largely over weight. They walk everywhere and need to keep a brisk pace in order not to get run over by the human herd behind them



I have posted below some things that I believe will help keep you fit and trim
Now, these tips are for the able body. Keeping in mind that my tongue is firmly in cheek on some of the items below

Never take the elevators:



I am claustrophobic anyway so this really works out for me. Avoid the temptation as much as you can. Now, if you work in a 6000 floor high rise, get off at the 5,995th floor and walk the remainder.

Don’t buy a rider mower, use a push um:



Now if you have many, many acres to mow, this tip is not for you. I am really addressing those (like my next door neighbor) who have a tiny, tiny plot of land and uses a rider mower to get the job done.





When going to work, The Mall etc..park the furthest away:



This is for daytime hours only. See, my Northern brain tells me that at night you park as close to the door as you can, or just stay home…

Don’t use drive thru's -walk in:



Nowadays there is a drive through for everything. Cleaners, beer, food, ice cream, banks, coffee shops, pharmacies etc…get out of the car and walk in. But try to....



...Stay away from fast foods. Don't hold vigil either!

Walk the dog regularly

Not just when he/she needs to go..but take the pooch out as many times as you can.

Not like........



...That, but more like.....



...That

Have a purpose when walking



Look the part, act the part and watch parts fly off!

Don’t use the escalators:



Did you every see the video of someone stuck on an escalator? This could happen to YOU!


Unless you live on a multi acre plot on the Hampton's-do not ride those golf carts around your property..get out and walk



Stay away from eating fried foods multiple times a week



I guess every now and then, fried foods are ok..but I know some folks who eat it everyday!

I hope these tips help someone.....



I know they are common sense things pretty much, but in everything we do, sometimes we need a little reminder...

Southern dirt road politics ~ Making Sausage

Laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made.
- Otto von Bismarck

As a Yankee in the rural South, you quickly learn that no matter how long you are here, you will always be a Yankee. A southern friend told me once that I could live here in the county for 40 years and will always be referred to as that guy from up north.



ahhhhhh, home!


I recently had the opportunity to get involved politically here in Wakulla County. What a difference my political involvement was here vs. my experience in Boston. I had been dormant politically speaking for a few years after my experience as a political fundraiser in Boston. I was burnt out but came out of hiding for a year and a half to get involved locally. I went from planning fundraising dinners at a posh Boston restaurant to cooking hot dogs at a local park here in Crawfordville.

On a separate, quick note, Speaking of food…..you can’t run a campaign here locally unless you feed the potential voters first………..



Southern fish fry’s are all the rage...free food works!

I must say, running with the “players” in Boston and Crawfordville is as different as night and day. In Boston, you pretty much new someone’s agenda. Republican was a Republican and a Democrat was a Democrat.

Here in local Wakulla County? it's not so clear cut. Now, we do have a Democrat and Republican Party here in our small rural town, just on the outskirts of Tallahassee, and the town is of the Democratic majority, but they are not like your typical northern democrats. We call them “Blue Dog” Democrats or Dixiecrats and are more republican in nature and in thinking than most Northern Democrats and even some Northern Republicans.



Although its membership is clearly not exclusively Southern, some view the Blue Dogs as the political successors to a now defunct-in-name Southern Democratic group known as the Boll Weevils, who played a critical role in the early 1980s by supporting President Ronald Reagan's tax cut plan. The Boll Weevils, in turn, may be considered the descendants of the Dixiecrats and the "states' rights" Democrats of the 1940's through the 1960's.

"Blue Dog Democrat" is derived from the term "Yellow Dog Democrat" who were southern democrats said to be so loyal they would even vote for a yellow dog if it were labeled Democrat. Former Texas Democratic Rep. Pete Geren is credited for coining the term, explaining that the members had been "choked blue" by "extreme" Democrats from the left.




The term is also a reference to the "Blue Dog" paintings of Cajun artist George Rodrigue of Lafayette, Louisiana; the original members of the coalition would regularly meet in the offices of Louisiana representatives Billy Tauzin and Jimmy Hayes, both of whom had Rodrigue's paintings on their walls.Tauzin and Hayes later switched to the Republican Party. An additional explanation for the term: "A blue dog is our mascot because when dogs are not let into the house, they stay outside in the cold and turn blue," a reference to moderate and conservative Democrats feeling left out of the Party which they believed had shifted to the political left.

Because we live in a rural community, you may be very active here in a local political party but are paying your mortgage by working from a County office that is held by the leader of the opposing party. Up North, we called that......


.......getting fired.

In the city, if you were an activist for a certain political party and working in a state, county or federal facility run by the opposing party chief, or have any other working relationship with him/her, you would hide your political affiliation and activism.......




.....for fear of loosing your job.

National politics are very clear cut and can be fodder for expanding your group in any local County. local small community politics are very murky. This is where making sausage can be an art form.



I believe politicians need more skill in a rural community than in a larger metropolitan area. Here, a politician may be a strong Republican on a national level ready to skewer anyone who even attempts to align with the current administration, but locally, that aggressive approach is tempered because you may not want to offend the leader of the opposite party as your family depends on the income they earn working for that leader.

So, discussions and agenda get very murky. Even the political yard signs displayed in yards can be very confusing:



You will have a conservative person plant a sign for a local Democrat in his or her yard here during local elections....right next to a Republican candidate's sign who is running for state or national office.

In Boston, the town is run by the mayor. In Crawfordville it’s the sheriff.I remember that being elected as a Mayor of Boston, you had to pretty much fall on your face to not get re-elected time and time again, creating a “machine” ..........



.....that’s very hard to beat.

Here, the Sheriff’s office is the same way.......



......so many years to build relationships and power.

What to do? If you are a party person, State wide and nationally support your party. Locally, support the guy who is best for all of the people.



OR..Be smart and stay out of politics :-)

A Yankees New Southern Toy.......

When in Rome….Buy a pickup truck!



Well, I went ahead and purchased a 1977 Ford F100 pickup truck. It does qualify as an antique. This will be the first time in my life I have owned one. Every other vehicle down here is a truck of some sort, so now I feel like I truly belong.:-)









I am now in the market for proper down south pickup truck attire……..



I don’t think I can pull that off, but it would sure give me the “right of way” in many roadway situations!

I think I will just go traditional………….



I may decide to wear a flannel shirt, jeans, overalls, and ball cap,(Red Sox logo) Perfecting the classic pick up driver look with a bit of a Boston touch.

I took Max (our dog) out for his first ride in it , (in the cab) I let him out to run around in the park and when it was time to go, he would not get back in! ….



I think it’s going to take a few more trips for him.

Driving a pick up truck with my northern flair for the dramatics while driving- is not a good mix down here…. It's a different driving culture in the south.Up north we yell, swear and get all red faced. Here it's simple, it's what is not said that is important

Q: Who has the right of way when 3 cars and a pick up truck approach a four-way stop
at the same time?

A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying
"Guns don't kill people. I do."

That guy gets to go first ......

I just may be a little passive myself at first and try these on for size..



Pickup truck tips are welcomed :-)