Street Smarts - Avoiding the Hornswoggle

street smarts

pl.n.

Shrewd awareness of how to survive in an often hostile urban environment.


Or - Street Smahts...

Being born and raised in the inner city has many perks. One of the biggest is that you grow up with a kind of sixth sense...........street smarts. In the city you are constantly aware of your surroundings; it’s not a fear but a sense that is constantly with you. Seems like there are many more people up east who are trying to take advantage of you - Who is behind me?, what does this guy really want?, who is at the door, did he just wish me a good day?  You are born with a built in...............

Everybody should have one! Even my mom was really good at detecting Bull-crap..but she did it in a more motherly way...

Thanks mom! 

You may ask, what is the need for this street smarts here in the rural south?.......

 ....au contraire, mon ami (the only French words I know) it comes in very handy.


In the rural South it's not such a life and death thing. Although I could have been a little more street smart about my first close encounter with the pit bull of birds....The Rooster. This experience came very innocently and so very unexpectedly. I was shopping at the local country mall (flea market) and came across a vendor who was selling “chicks” cute little cuddly things....

I bought two, I think I paid $20.00. Being a Yankee, I had no clue what I was doing. Maybe I wanted to start a farm? Well I took the new family members home and built a little area in the back yard to raise these chicks. The early days raising these chicks were fun, I was wondering what I would need to start a little chicken ranch.

So here I am raising these birds into what I think will be nice, plump chicken hens – How wrong I was. I was watching the growth of these birds and it seemed odd, they did not look like chickens at all, their colors were very bright and they looked a little masculine to me. Oh well I thought, maybe it’s just a stage. 

I found out what I really had. I remember this day distinctly, we have had the birds for sometime now and they have grown well. It was about 3:00am when my world would never be the same. 

COCK-A-DOODLE DOOOOOOOOO ..non-stop. The man at the flea market sold me roosters not hens. He must have seen me coming and said “I’ll get this damn Yankee” He sure did, what a nightmare for weeks to come.I let me guard down and see what happens?

City street smarts need to stay sharp down here in the south. If  I am ever in the market for some chickens again, I will do what some political party has done recently...

ask for a birth certificate! - Smart Yankee!

No Three card monte here! ...

I use the three card monte game as a metaphor. Even as I now live in the south, I find this street smart tendency helps me along life's path down here as well. I am sure it looks odd at times to the locals as I take my exercise walks constantly looking behind me on an abandoned dirt road to see who may be creeping behind me. No one ever is, but maybe because it’s that I am ever vigilante?

Meeting people for the first time I have a knack (right or wrong) of sizing them up and putting them in a certain category……….

I have experienced the draw of the three card monte card game, I am ready for the deception! I know life shouldn't be about learning how to detect deception, but in the inner city, it is critical to know your surroundings at all times. The three card monte is a great illustration on how some people will go to extremes to take advantage of you. I have not seen a three card monte table here in Crawfordville, hummm, maybe I could start one in the park?

Three-card Monte
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

marney, Three-card trick,Three-Way, Three-card shuffle, Menage-a-card, Triplets, Follow the lady, Les Trois Perdants (French for Three Losers), le Bonneteau, Find the lady, or Follow the Bee is a confidence game in which the victim, or mark, is tricked into betting a sum of money, on the assumption that they can find the money card among three face-down playing cards.


This confidence trick was already in use by the turn of the 15th century, having a great deal in common with the shell game; they are the same except that cards are used instead of "shells".

Using the no three card monte approach....

Take this gentlemen who came to the door last month trying to sell me a security system. He made it to the second step of a 10 step back porch, I opened the door, screen door still in between us and just said “ I have a big loud dog, but thank you” end of encounter. He looked very confused....

 .....I don’t think he was ever rejected without a knock on the door. I saw him coming and immediately judged by what he was wearing (Jeans and a dirty shirt) that this was probably a scam. Headlines the week following, 5 people busted trying to scam residents by selling fake alarm systems.

The above scenario isn’t really a big deal, but if you look at the tactic, you see the street come out, interrupt their flow when they least expect it, gets them off guard and puts you in command of the situation.

This works well with used car salesmen.....

If you ever are in the position to look for a used car, my best advise is to know what it is you want before stepping on the lot. Last time I was in the market for a used car, I told the salesman I wanted a certain type of car, no less that x miles, I have a budget of x per month and I don't need to be sold something I cant afford. He looked at me as if I had stolen his opening lines (I did) and told me to look around and call him if I need help. That is what I call the sledgehammer approach-you be in charge and aware of your surroundings even in a car transaction.  

I call it right most of the time..

I key on eyes, facial expressions, conversation. Being street smart you need to be a very good listener, I do like discussions, but If I think I am being hornswoggled , I ease away and move on..

No matter what your geographical situation is, nobody likes to be hornswoggled!

I want Y'all to keep in mind that I don't walk around down here in fear of being taken in a three card monte kind of way. I do keep vigilant in situations but don't go overboard. I don't need to, I have my bullshit meter fully charged.