Observations From the gym

I have been going to the gym for some time now and feel the need to report my findings. As I do my 2 miles on the treadmill everyday it gives me the chance to observe all that is going on. I amuse myself as I see the different routines and my mind wanders ( My mind wanders in most things I do) and I start to characterize different gym and work out approaches people tend to have.

I would like to say at first that I keep a very low profile at the gym, I do 30 minutes on the treadmill.....

Then another 30 minutes on upper body weights. If you were to see me you would understand why I do this. My legs and arms are like sticks and I have no major plans to bulk up, just to stay toned. It makes for a great start of the work day for me and it keeps me kinda in shape and does take the morning edge off so that I can concentrate more on the upcoming workday.I start the day running in 5th gear, the workout helps to take it down a notch or two. Plus I get to tell my fellow work mates that I was at the gym at 6:00am today, it's a bit snobbish I know, but I get a kick out of it.

Back to my observations.....here is how see it: The different categories of people at the gym..

The marathon runner

This person always fascinates me. I go to the gym and they are hauling ass on the treadmill. I think they have it programmed at the highest level, whatever that may be. So I see them on the treadmill when I arrive, I do my 30 minute routine on the treadmill and they are still hauling. I might have just completed 3 miles..I think they are on their 89th. So I do my 30 minutes of weights and am done. I go and take a shower.

(waiting for all the guys to leave so as to not have my sponge-bob briefs noticed).......

......and I am done in 15 minutes. As I am leaving I think the Marathoner is already in Vancouver in terms of miles because the marathoner is still at it at the same speed. I think if I was to go out and have dinner, watch a movie and do laundry, they would still be at it. It's so easy to ask these folks why not run outside and experience nature and such....but I give them a pass at that question as where else can you run the equevelent to upper Mongolia and watch the news/ESPN at the same time?

The Fashionable

These are the folks that go to the gym to be seen. They are seen. In all types of various get - ups. Their message to the world is clear. I am here for style, I look good I am trendy and I am at the gym. Hey, what does this apparatus do? It's all in the shirt slogans. I have seen them all.

Catchy, hey look at me T's ! Honorable mention goes to properly placed head band, the rhinestone studded gym gloves, the woolly skull cap, and last but not least, the matching sweat jacket, shirt, pants and shoes... sponsored by Nike.

The Narcissus

There is a reason the gym has mirrors. As a matter of fact, I am sure mirrors are everywhere the narcissus wants to be. I guess I really don't blame these folks, if I did not have twigs for arms and legs but had huge (as Popeye would say) Muskles, I would probably flaunt as well. But I don't,..so I get to be a smart ass and talk about those who do. Nothing against those with muskles, I guess where else would you get to flex them but at a gym? Can you imaging establishments having a 'flex" zone. Let say at the mall, an area that the muskle crowd could go to to get their flex on? At work they could have flex stations..hummmmm I must check into this business opportunity!

The Martyrs

You can spot these very easily, look for the constant...................grimace

on the face. My Jewish mother in law calls it kvetshing. I understand that lifting heavy things can get you to make faces only known in the bed room...but some of these types walk in the door already in angst mode. I feel like going up to them and patting them on the back and say "good job" ...I think that's what they are in need of. Martyr love!

The Yappers:

These are folks who use the gym for social hour. I think they actually get in 3 minutes of exercise but the majority of time is spent leaning on a gym apparatus and talking and catching up with a fellow yapper. It may be that just showing up at the gym is a good thing for these types, I could think of many non healthy environments that people could go to to yap. If you take off your ear phones and listen closely, you can pick up a good thing or two. Like what wine goes best with lamb and where are the best places in town to go for lunch.

The new years resolution crowd

Out of all the folks at the gym, these are the easiest to detect. They come in large crowds and fill up the gym for 3-4 weeks. They are a very enthusiastic bunch that can liven up a gym for a time. When the gym excitement wears down these folks fade away and the gym gets back to it's normal patronage. I have always said that I would open up a club called resolutions, for the first month of the year it would be a gym..and for the remainder of the year I would turn it into a night club...