Sometimes I think to myself, "ISN'T THERE ANY OTHER WALK OF LIFE I COULD'VE CHOSEN?" (Sometimes I think in all caps.)
But it's not really that I chose writing fiction. More like I was made to be a writer, and I'm just suffering the necessary agony that comes with the job. Cue demented grin.
Seriously though, why couldn't I be interested in botany? Or gourmet cooking? Burned food seems way better than the cesspool my manuscript is right now. I am revising a 90,000 word novel, and I think I spend half the time just staring at my long long long list of notes--all the the things I need to fix/change/whatever.
So here's the thing. Obviously, every profession comes with serious challenges. You can't pick just pick butterfly keeper or balloon seller and have an easy life. I mean, at some point a butterfly is going to escape, or a little kid is going to let go of his balloon and cry until you give him another one at no charge.
So why do we chose what we do? Is it because the good times conquer the agonizing ones? Is it just for the end result? I can't answer for you. As for me, I write because I have to. I can't not write, even if I wanted to. During those hard times, this is what my personal pep talk sounds like: "It's okay, you can just quit. Don't even try to finish this. No one's making you write." And then I get up and keep working. The idea that I could stop if I wanted to helps me to keep going--even though I really can't stop if I want to. If you're confused, it's because I just created a paradox.
So what is your walk of life? And why do you keep doing it? Go ahead and comment.
I'm not sure how this happens, but sometimes when I undergo a challenging period, I end up listening to one song over and over. I don't seem to get sick of it until I'm sick of it. This time it just so happens that I'm listening to Afterlife by Switchfoot. Jon Foreman kind of sounds like he's dying, but maybe that's why I like it.
