Funny random animal clips put to the song

The Magic Mountain

Something odd is happening to me. I have started reading Thomas Mann’s great work, The Magic Mountain, or to give it its original title, Der Zauberberg. I’m told that the adjective “zauber” has slightly different connotations to the English “magic.” There are no cute, Disney-influenced overtones to the German word. Rather, it implies sorcery, possibly of a menacing kind.

Early after beginning the novel, I was overcome by sleepiness, and ended up dozing away most of an afternoon, waking flushed and groggy, feeling rather unwell. I forced myself out of the house for a short walk, did some meditation at a nearby Buddhist monastery, and took a longer walk through the bush to get home, enchanted by the magical sight of a fluffy baby lyrebird on the way. Feeling better after this excursion, I presumed I had just been exhausted after Christmas and New Years revels, and that the heat of the summer day had finished me off.

But the next day, when I took out the novel, something similar happened. I didn’t sleep so long this time, but woke with a strange pain in my left shoulder. This time, I thought some more strenuous exercise might be in order, so I went to the local swim centre and did my usual twenty laps in the outdoor pool. Towards the end of my swim, I started to feel congested. There was a sharp, prickling sensation in my chest. The sky clouded over and started to spit at me. I had to interrupt a lap to cough.

Having looked up the word “sputum” in the dictionary earlier in the day (it is of some importance in the novel) I wondered, while continuing to swim, if I was bringing up sputum, or merely phlegm. Would I soon need to carry around a flat bottle with me for the purpose of collecting samples for later examination by medical experts? It was a whimsical, if also disgusting thought – I was imagining myself as one of the consumptive patients living in the sanatorium described in Mann’s novel, set in the German Alps, a good deal higher than the Australian Blue Mountains where I live.

The routine of (largely horizontal) life in the fictional International Sanatorium Berghof is constructed around mealtimes, of which there are five daily: early breakfast, second breakfast, dinner, afternoon tea, and supper. The food is sumptuous and beautifully prepared. At the table where the main character of the novel, Hans Castorp is seated, the dishes are served by a dining attendant who also happens to be a dwarf.

Thomas Mann

I write this having first consumed my own “second breakfast” for the day, which consisted of an omelette with fresh sage and goats curd, à la Bill Granger, and a roast dandelion soy latte, with honey. I prepared and served this meal myself, which suggests that I am playing both the role of hero, or anti-hero (Castorp is defined by his mediocrity, supplemented with a penchant for philosophical musings – about time, mostly), and that of the dwarf who serves him. This confusion, or amalgamation of roles, can be put down to the fact that I am living in the early twenty-first century, under conditions of advanced capitalism and liberal democracy, whereas Mann’s characters belong to the period before the First World War.

In his novel, the appearance of a dwarf waitress is cause for a slight shock, and heightened politeness on Castorp’s part, quickly fading into simple acceptance of her presence as part of the peculiar status quo in the Berghof. This detail in the novel reminds me of stories I heard a few years ago about how a law firm in Sydney hired dwarves to serve the drinks at its staff Christmas party. I wonder if the organisers were aware that in light of Mann’s famous novel, this suggested that the partners of the firm were not only morally decadent, but likely to be ravaged by internal disease, beneath their flush, rosy-cheeked exteriors. Kim Kardashian might also like to take note.

At this point, I feel a certain obligation to come up with some incisive philosophical observations, supported by cogent historical examples, about the changing symbolism of illness, perhaps drawing on Susan Sontag’s contrast between the spiritualization of consumptives, who were seen to draw closer to God as their illness progressed, and the more recent attitude toward cancer patients, who are likely to feel blamed for their own illness, in line with what I would not hesitate to call the hyperbolic concept of personal responsibility that dominates contemporary Western culture. I might add to this analysis some consideration of AIDS and its interpretation via discourses of sin, messianic catastrophe and redemption (as illustrated in playwright Tony Kushner's Angels in America), and spare some thought for those forms of illness which remain unfigured in any major cultural tropes, negative or positive, and consequently fail to attract significant research funding leading to better treatment… 

But I find that lassitude is overtaking me, and realise that I have only a short time to wrap myself in a blanket (the weather here in the mountains having once again turned unseasonably cold) and take a quick kip on the couch before it will be time to meet my friend Nigel for lunch.

How Do I say It in English: Dates

Hello!

How did you ring in the New Year 2012? I hope you did it in style.... :)

Today I would like to talk about dates for a bit. And I know what you are going to say – either: “Thanks, but no thanks, Karolina;” or “Thank you, Captain Obvious.” But I still hope some of you will benefit from reading today's post.

You have probably heard that the British and Americans write their dates differently. I've been presented with the following patterns when it comes to writing dates:

AMERICAN

January 1, 2012 (please make a note of the comma)

BRITISH

1(st) January 2012

I've decided to compare the patterns I know against data I can find on the internet. Here are the results:

US

edition.CNN.com – CNN

January 3, 2012

europe.wsj.com – World Street Journal

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

USAToday.com – USA Today

01/03/2012

NYTimes.com – New York Times

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

washingtonpost.com

Tuesday, January 3

UK

BBC.co.uk – BBC

3 January 2012

Telegraph.co.uk – the Daily Telegraph

Tuesday 03 January 2012

Guardian.co.uk – Guardian

Tuesday 3 January 2012

HeraldScotland.com – Herald

Tuesday 3 January 2012

WalesOnline.co.uk – Western Mail (Wales)

3 January 2012

Economist.com – the Economist

Jan 3rd 2012

And here are the conclusions:

• Americans write dates according to the /MM/DD/YY/ format.
• The British write dates according to the /DD/MM/YY/ format.
• Therefore, to be on the safe side, it is better to write the name of the month in full (or write the short version e.g. Jan, Feb etc.)
• It is nowadays common to skip ordinal abbreviations: 'st', 'nd', 'rd' and 'th', when writing dates.
• Commas are used by Americans and don't seem to be used by the British.

I've also asked native speakers how they say dates. The British use two forms. Some of them show preference for form (1), which follows the order in the written pattern.

(1) the third of January,

(2) January the third,

whereas Americanswill say

(1) January third (most often),

(2) January the third,

and sometimes 

(3) the third of January.

There's one more issueleft. How do we say “2012”? Some internet users solved this problem two years ago:

click on me

Is it

2010 two thousand (and) ten OR twenty ten

2011 two thousand (and) eleven OR twenty eleven

2012 two thousand (and) twelve OR twenty twelve ?

YOU DECIDE! :)

(AND it is actually for the speaker to decide.)

And just in case, the remaining patterns:

1400 fourteen hundred

1900 nineteen hundred

1409 fourteen oh nine

1901 nineteen oh one

1810 eighteen ten

1999 nineteen ninety-nine

2000 two thousand

2001 two thousand (and) one

2009 two thousand (and) nine

Oh, and most importantly,

Happy New Year 2012!!!!!!

GLOSARRY:

to ring in the New Year – powitać Nowy Rok (dzwonami)

for a bit – przez chwilę

Captain Obvious– a sarcastic name for someone who states the obvious; obvious – oczywisty

to benefit from – skorzystać z czegoś

to make a note of something – zapamiętać, zapisać (to write something down or remember it carefully)

a comma – przecinek

a pattern – wzór (a particular way in which something is done, organized or happens)

data – dane

to be on the safe side – na wszelki wypadek

to skip – opuszczać, omijać

an ordinal (number) – (liczba) porządkowa

an abbreviation – skrót

to follow the order – tut. odzwierciedlać kolejność

an issue – kwestia

just in case – na wszelki wypadek

remaining– pozostałe

and most importantly – a co najważniejsze

Street Smarts - Avoiding the Hornswoggle

street smarts

pl.n.

Shrewd awareness of how to survive in an often hostile urban environment.


Or - Street Smahts...

Being born and raised in the inner city has many perks. One of the biggest is that you grow up with a kind of sixth sense...........street smarts. In the city you are constantly aware of your surroundings; it’s not a fear but a sense that is constantly with you. Seems like there are many more people up east who are trying to take advantage of you - Who is behind me?, what does this guy really want?, who is at the door, did he just wish me a good day?  You are born with a built in...............

Everybody should have one! Even my mom was really good at detecting Bull-crap..but she did it in a more motherly way...

Thanks mom! 

You may ask, what is the need for this street smarts here in the rural south?.......

 ....au contraire, mon ami (the only French words I know) it comes in very handy.


In the rural South it's not such a life and death thing. Although I could have been a little more street smart about my first close encounter with the pit bull of birds....The Rooster. This experience came very innocently and so very unexpectedly. I was shopping at the local country mall (flea market) and came across a vendor who was selling “chicks” cute little cuddly things....

I bought two, I think I paid $20.00. Being a Yankee, I had no clue what I was doing. Maybe I wanted to start a farm? Well I took the new family members home and built a little area in the back yard to raise these chicks. The early days raising these chicks were fun, I was wondering what I would need to start a little chicken ranch.

So here I am raising these birds into what I think will be nice, plump chicken hens – How wrong I was. I was watching the growth of these birds and it seemed odd, they did not look like chickens at all, their colors were very bright and they looked a little masculine to me. Oh well I thought, maybe it’s just a stage. 

I found out what I really had. I remember this day distinctly, we have had the birds for sometime now and they have grown well. It was about 3:00am when my world would never be the same. 

COCK-A-DOODLE DOOOOOOOOO ..non-stop. The man at the flea market sold me roosters not hens. He must have seen me coming and said “I’ll get this damn Yankee” He sure did, what a nightmare for weeks to come.I let me guard down and see what happens?

City street smarts need to stay sharp down here in the south. If  I am ever in the market for some chickens again, I will do what some political party has done recently...

ask for a birth certificate! - Smart Yankee!

No Three card monte here! ...

I use the three card monte game as a metaphor. Even as I now live in the south, I find this street smart tendency helps me along life's path down here as well. I am sure it looks odd at times to the locals as I take my exercise walks constantly looking behind me on an abandoned dirt road to see who may be creeping behind me. No one ever is, but maybe because it’s that I am ever vigilante?

Meeting people for the first time I have a knack (right or wrong) of sizing them up and putting them in a certain category……….

I have experienced the draw of the three card monte card game, I am ready for the deception! I know life shouldn't be about learning how to detect deception, but in the inner city, it is critical to know your surroundings at all times. The three card monte is a great illustration on how some people will go to extremes to take advantage of you. I have not seen a three card monte table here in Crawfordville, hummm, maybe I could start one in the park?

Three-card Monte
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

marney, Three-card trick,Three-Way, Three-card shuffle, Menage-a-card, Triplets, Follow the lady, Les Trois Perdants (French for Three Losers), le Bonneteau, Find the lady, or Follow the Bee is a confidence game in which the victim, or mark, is tricked into betting a sum of money, on the assumption that they can find the money card among three face-down playing cards.


This confidence trick was already in use by the turn of the 15th century, having a great deal in common with the shell game; they are the same except that cards are used instead of "shells".

Using the no three card monte approach....

Take this gentlemen who came to the door last month trying to sell me a security system. He made it to the second step of a 10 step back porch, I opened the door, screen door still in between us and just said “ I have a big loud dog, but thank you” end of encounter. He looked very confused....

 .....I don’t think he was ever rejected without a knock on the door. I saw him coming and immediately judged by what he was wearing (Jeans and a dirty shirt) that this was probably a scam. Headlines the week following, 5 people busted trying to scam residents by selling fake alarm systems.

The above scenario isn’t really a big deal, but if you look at the tactic, you see the street come out, interrupt their flow when they least expect it, gets them off guard and puts you in command of the situation.

This works well with used car salesmen.....

If you ever are in the position to look for a used car, my best advise is to know what it is you want before stepping on the lot. Last time I was in the market for a used car, I told the salesman I wanted a certain type of car, no less that x miles, I have a budget of x per month and I don't need to be sold something I cant afford. He looked at me as if I had stolen his opening lines (I did) and told me to look around and call him if I need help. That is what I call the sledgehammer approach-you be in charge and aware of your surroundings even in a car transaction.  

I call it right most of the time..

I key on eyes, facial expressions, conversation. Being street smart you need to be a very good listener, I do like discussions, but If I think I am being hornswoggled , I ease away and move on..

No matter what your geographical situation is, nobody likes to be hornswoggled!

I want Y'all to keep in mind that I don't walk around down here in fear of being taken in a three card monte kind of way. I do keep vigilant in situations but don't go overboard. I don't need to, I have my bullshit meter fully charged.

Amazing Things I Learned (1)

2012.
It's a pretty cool-looking year, I think. No--I know. It is a cool-looking year. And I hope it is a very happy one for all of you.

Forgive me for neglecting this portion of my life for so long. Kind of like the mom who isn't there for her blog. I allowed myself to dwindle out of the mode, you know? That's because I've been writing a book. 

OMGoodness. I just realized that I didn't have a parting post to 2011. I can never write another post in 2011 again. But that's because I was busy writing a book. 

But I did learn a few things last year. Which was a grand total of one day ago. Here are some of the things I learned about writing:

• While I am writing a story, it is easy to make things happen simply because they fit into the plot. But really things should happen because the characters DO the things. The characters should be living the plot into being. The plot should not be some sort of deity making characters act unnaturally.
• Sometimes writing a certain amount of words (if you have a daily goal) can be like eating a 20 gallon bucket of Cheerios one by one.
• There will always be new areas in the writing process to discover. I say "always" probably just because I haven't personally discovered them all. Yet. 

So, I'm sure I didn't learn just three things this year (even though Janet seems to think so). But I'm starting with these, and I will elucidate them more if when I can.  That's why there's a (1) in the title. It's kind of like a series thing. I've heard that can be kind of hip.

What are some things you learned last year? Feel free to link up blog posts if you've already explained on your own blog spot.